Long distance relationships, also known as LDRs are horrible torture chambers that need special tending and are hard to maintain. It really takes a toll on your relationship and you might end up hating every second that goes by without your partner, but we are here with this article to help you out and reduce your stress levels as much as possible. There is no way anyone can help you 100% because physicality is one of the most important factors in a relationship and there is no bypassing it. But other than that, there are steps you can take to make you feel more relaxed and feel happier. These steps can possibly help you enjoy your relationship even when everything feels depressing.
There will be fights and you shouldn’t fret it. Just make sure you can handle these fights well, and not say anything that you don’t absolutely mean. Most probably you will be texting more than anything else and when writing, you may write something that can be interpreted wrong and may open a whole different level of arguments which can eat your relationship up. There are also some fights you need to have anyways, don’t blame your partner, your relationship or your circumstance. Some of these fights will be more intense at the beginning of your long distance when you are still adjusting and they are totally okay. Having jealousy issues are totally okay and justifiable since you are so far away from them and you feel like you have no control over anything. All you have to do is adjust to your circumstance and get over your jealousy as soon as possible. You just need to sit and discuss all of these issues over video chat and be serious and clear-headed. Do not discuss these topics when you are still mad or it will become bigger and messier.
Avoid excessive communication
No need to be excessive and too possessive just because you are far from each other, less is more and in case of long distance relationships; don’t tire yourself out and get tired of each other. No need to communicate 12 hours a day to keep the relationship going. You need to check up on each other and communicate when it matters and not spam them every second of every day. You should communicate every day and talk about the mundane things just so you are in each other’s lives, but know the difference between communicating enough and communicating too much.
See it as an opportunity
We know if you are in a long distance relationship right now you are probably getting annoyed at us because you are already frustrated, so how can you see this as an opportunity. But we are here to tell you it is possible to see it as a great way to test your relationship. I have been in your shoes so trust me when I say you need to stay positive, Chinese have a saying “Real gold is not afraid of the test of fire” instead of thinking long distance is pulling you two apart, think that you will come out of it much stronger together. When you first start long distance relationship out it feels unbearable, so hard not seeing and touching the person you love the way you want to. But once you get over that initial hardship, try to see the whole picture. If you are willing to continue this relationship you are probably in it for the long haul and think of the big picture when that day finally arrives. So if you never had to go through this, maybe you wouldn’t have been ready for that end result, to begin with. This experience can really open your eyes and enable you to see the big picture and see if your relationship is strong enough, to begin with.
You both need to define the expectations you have from each other and your relationship. Yes, long distance is the greatest way to challenge your relationship and if it works out it shows you how strong your relationship is. Talk about some issues on whether you two are exclusive, so you don’t do anything that will take the other person by surprise. Figure out your level of commitment so you both are on the same page. Long distance relationship can’t go on forever so you need to discuss what the future holds and how long you have to deal with this long distance. Knowing when this torture will end is a great discussion topic because when you know it will end you are happier and more motivated.
Try to communicate regularly
Yes, we said do not communicate excessively but don’t just let it go and stop talking altogether. You need to know what’s going on in each other’s lives. You need to let them know you are thinking of each other as texting “good night” and “good morning” each day. On top of that try to update each other on what’s happening in your everyday lives. Make sure you send each other photos, short videos, songs, other things that make you laugh or are worthy of sharing. By sending these kinds of things you would be making the other person feel loved and attended to. Which in return they would put more effort into your relationship and it would be a win-win.
Do things together
Play online games together such as online UNO, Scrabble, Battleship etc. watch tv shows or movies together at the same time, buy each other gifts or go online shopping together, take a walk together outside and video-call each other. All these activities are great tools you can use to stay in touch and connected, you want to have more things to do together so you have more to talk about and not lose touch.
Do similar things
Recommend books, tv shows, movies, music etc. to each other. When you share these experiences you will have more things to talk about and have shared experiences even though you are living apart. Those who do things together stay together and that can be a little hard when you are so far away from each other, but you can still do those things together thanks to technology. You have Internet and phones and laptops all sorts of technology to make your life and relationship easier.
Visit each other regularly
Yes, you might have to live away from each other, but whenever you have the opportunity try to visit each other. Visit them because they are the highlight of every long-distance relationship. After all the waiting and yearning and abstinence, you finally get to see them. Even the little things like holding hands, kissing or just being able to give a hug etc. are important and have a special meaning. They do feel more special and intimate compared to non-long distance relationshipers. Those things will be like fireworks when you can finally touch the person you love after going for some time without each other.
Stay Honest with each other
Talk about your problems and your feelings, you may want to keep them buried but it will be so much better for you relationship to keep it honest and open. No matter what it is that you are keeping it bottled up, it is bound to come up and eat at you and your relationship at some point. Let your partner help you and give you the support you need. It is better to look at the problem during its initial stage than to only disclose it when it is too late. Communicate, communicate, communicate that is all that is important in a LDR.
Gift a personal object
Giving objects special meanings are part of the human nature, so the next time you meet your significant other give them a thoughtful gift. May that be a necklace, a t-shirt or a cologne tell them to keep it as a part of you and that whenever they miss you they should use it or just keep it close to them. They will have a special meaning and make it easier on both parties having keepsakes from each other. There will be days when you miss your partner more than anything in the world and those moments these gifts really do help.
Get a good messaging app
Communication is key so make sure you find a reliable messaging app that will allow you to chat readily and easily. As we mentioned with the technology we have, long distance relationships are not that hard anymore. You can instantly talk and share whatever you want. Instant communication means you just need to work around your schedules and find free time for both of you for seamless communication.
Handwritten mails are important as well, you wouldn’t write what is happening right now because it would take some time to get it delivered but writing poetry or declaring your love or just sending anything that would put a smile on your significant other’s face is important. Sending flowers, cool t-shirts, sexy underwear or such can be special and unexpected. Which is a sure way to make the other person happy and not get over the fact that you made their day.
There will be moments when you feel like this is all shit and you do not want to deal with this crap anymore. Right at those moments just look at all the good memories and stay positive. Of course do not stay in a relationship if things are too much to handle but if the stress is coming from another source and you are taking your frustration out of your relationship, just because it is easy to blame then just try to stay positive. We get so frustrated because we know that our significant other would make us feel so much better if they were there to cuddle us and hold us. We know this so the absence drives us crazy and we blame the whole problem on LDR. but if the problem is not stemming from the relationship itself then just do something that will take your mind off of things and think of all the good memories you had together. Think of the next time you will see your partner and get excited over that instead of getting depressed over not seeing him or her.
Video-call each other whenever possible
Seeing each other’s face is very important in any kind of relationship but its extra important in a long distance relationship. Seeing them and hearing their voices can make everything better and reassure you that you love this person and are still willing to continue this long-distance relationship. This torture can become bearable by just seeing their face and having their face light your day up and those moments can be the reason you are still together. They can be great reminders of why you are willing to go through this much trouble.
Trust each other
Trusting each other during separations are very crucial for long distance relationships and one of the biggest reasons why people don’t believe long distance relationships could work. That is because having a long distance relationship before establishing trust in a relationship will most likely end as a failure. You need to establish that trust and build that trust throughout the relationship before you can start an adventure based on trust. You will not be there to check up on everything they do and snoop on in anything, you are totally out of control and you need to accept that. You need to believe your significant other loves you and wouldn’t hurt you. You need to have some sort of agreements with each other to control those jealous tendencies and respect each other.
No matter what you read or what you hear from people, this is your relationship and you know the best on what would work for your relationship. Try different things and always show you care and never forget the importance of communication.